Time for a Change

Can I be real for a second?

I’m in a rut.

Well, let’s be totally honest…it’s more like a ditch.

A really deep ditch.

Or maybe a ravine.

One of those steep, ivy covered, snake infested bottomless gullies.

Whatever it is, I’ve been there a while.

As I write this, I’m sitting in a pizza joint waiting on a personal-sized gluten free pizza, enjoying a half sweet, half unsweet iced tea and already regretting my order. I told myself [again] that this is my freebie meal before I get serious.

Am I the only one that does that?

How many times have you told yourself that?

I’m always going to eat all the things and start on Monday.

Anybody?

For those of you who are wonderfully fit and on top of your game with nutrition, I couldn’t admire you more…you are my hero. But for the rest of you…well, maybe you get it.

The thing is, I know how to do all the right things. I’ve studied nutrition enough to know what I’m supposed to eat. (no degree, just lots of research) I’ve spent a lot of time in the gym, and I actually know enough not to look like an idiot in front of the gym rats.

Truth is, I love the gym. I find lifting exhilarating and fun and I wish I had a dozen friends who felt the same way so we could do it together. Or one, honestly.

But with all that know-how, here I am, heavier than ever. All 215 pounds of me. (June 2019)

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Photo credit: Anna Nantz

And you know what occurred to me recently?

God gave me one life.

One. 

And what I do with it kind of matters.

That’s obviously not news to me, and I didn’t have some sort of light bulb moment. Life happened, and with it, a slow realization.

My daughter recently returned home from college for the summer. She’s been cleaning out her dorm room stash and her bedroom here at home (thank the Lord!), so I let her use our dining room as a storage space for the short term.

Today, I was trying to make some order of the chaos, and I came across a folder she made, called her “Thankful Folder.” In it, periodically during the last school year, she listed things for which she was thankful.

First semester, lots of things like “warm shower” and “great friends” were listed, things she no doubt continues to be grateful for.

But after some significant health problems began to develop late in the semester, it was interesting to see the shift. She began listing things like “I’m thankful for the ability to walk” and “I’m thankful for friends who care enough to listen.”

If I’m honest, reading through that folder brought a few tears, but it also smacked me with a dose of reality.

I’ve been blessed with relatively good health for most of my life. Any struggles I have are fixable with dietary changes. (Celiac Disease)

I grew up with a mother who was crippled, and didn’t have the luxury of walking without severe pain. I have friends who don’t have legs that function at all…and here I am, struggling to eat right and exercise, complaining about it.

A friend posted a quote on Facebook today that brought a laugh, but boy it hit home:

“We need to deal with our but problem, and…some have bigger buts than others! – Sherman Smith 

I have a but problem that might be a little bigger than my butt problem…and today, I’m coming clean. It’s time to own it, quit making excuses, and do something about it.

Do you struggle with motivation like I do?

Do you need a community?

I do, and since I don’t have one, I’m working on building one. Comment below, or send me an email via my contact page, and I’ll be happy to keep you in the loop once I get started.

For today though, all the exercise in the world can’t fix bad eating…so here’s to making better choices (more on that later) and thanking God for this incredible life He’s given me.

As for that pizza, I left half on the table. Just so you know.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Please add me, my friend. Some of my lack of motivation is medication related and I’m working on getting that resolved. I’m at my heaviest too, but it’s about 100 more than you 😦 You have always been a big encouragement to me and I’d love to walk through this with you. Too bad we’re not closer in proximity. Love you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Karen says:

    Yes yes yes I was so in that rut valley ravine deep hole depressed hated every choice I made. Hiding in the closet eating things I knew I shouldn’t but didn’t know how to stop. I’ve worked out my entire life how did I get to the place of not caring. I prayed ALOT a whole lot and said God help me overcome and here I am overcoming one step at a time. And since I spent my kids whole life being the example and helping them make better choices. it was time for me to start making good houses again. They get it, all 3 of them are fit, in the gym daily caring for their bodies and eating well. I felt left out so I joined them. Today marks my 100th day of tracking and on my life journey of changes to a better me. I was 160lb when I started now at 145lb and going strong. I applaud you, you can do this, you got it and I’m here supporting you every step of the way. If you wanna know how I’m doing it if you don’t have a plan reach out my friend. Lots of love

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lisa Loftis says:

    This is so me! Starting over today once again.

    Liked by 1 person

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